Mom thinks she is too old to ‘change her ways’ or get used to new surroundings.
Dad says he cannot leave back so many memories and have the rest of his life spent in ‘a home’.
Meanwhile, your efforts get increasingly difficult along with managing your own home and family. As much as you want to do it for your parents, driving to the doctor, getting groceries, and filling up the weekly pill organizer can take up a lot of your weekdays when you struggle with office and home. Along with trying your best to find time for all these is the constant worry about their health, safety, and well-being.
You need help. So how do you get to talking about it to your parent? It’s important to talk openly and honestly about a better option for both of you. Here, you will find advice on discussing the most common issues that come up during this difficult conversation, based on our experience helping several families like yours. If you need additional support, we’re here 24/7/365. Reach out to us any time at ashacare.in.
The conversations most worth having are often the most difficult. Use this guide to help make it as positive and productive as possible.
| PARENT | YOU |
| I’m managing just fine here with your help. | You’re right, we have been managing. But, I could use some help to better take care of you and your needs. It is getting increasingly difficult for me to help you the way I want to. As for you, I want to rest assured that you are safe and healthy, all the time. At ASHA, there’s a whole team to help with whatever you need whenever you need, however you need it. Besides, there is a big difference between managing – just getting by – and really living. |
| I’m not alone. I have you. | Of course you do, and you always will. But it gives me anxiety attacks every time I think of not being able to attend your calls when I am in a meeting or driving. I think you shouldn’t have to depend solely on me for assistance and company. At ASHA, you can get together with people you have more in common with, instead of depending on my schedule. |
| Couldn’t we just have someone else come in to help me? | We could, and I know that sounds like a good idea. But think about it – you’d still be by yourself most of the time. I hate seeing you cooped up at home when you could be out doing things and seeing people like you used to. Not only that, but the cost of having someone come in to help you, plus all the living expenses you have now, would be about the same or even more than the cost of living at ASHA. |
| I feel good most days, and I usually remember to take my medications. | I know you do and I’m grateful for that. But even one missed pill now and then – or one too many – can be dangerous. I want you to keep having good days for a long time. At ASHA, they have a dedicated team to help with your medication management. No more pill organizers and filling it up every time we buy new medicines. |
| Everyone is so old at those places. I don’t need that much help. | You’re right, you don’t. But you’re probably thinking of an old-age home – and that’s not what ASHA is at all. The people who live there need little to no help, just like you. They are at ASHA to look for friendships and do away with daily chores that take up all the time. You’ll have your own apartment, delicious meals and interesting things to look forward to every day. You’ll actually be more independent than you are now because you won’t have to wait around for me to help you when I can. |
| What if I don’t like it? | Then, of course, you don’t have to stay. It’s a month- to-month rental apartment and you can try it out for a while with no strings attached. We will leave when you want to. But I bet you’ll meet neighbors who were just trying it out, too, and ended up wishing they’d moved in a lot sooner. |
